Thursday, April 25, 2013

"oh Lord you aren't done with me yet!"

This is a thought that has been skipping through my mind a lot lately.  Much to my personal disappointment I had tried getting back into the work force.  Reality hit me like a lightning bolt hits the ground.  I realized that my idea of starting a new career in the later part of my life may not be the wisest choice. Frankly, I was naive enough to think everything was still the same as when I left it over 25 years ago... Didn't it?  Don't get me wrong it's a good idea especially in today's economy and I am grateful to have been given the opportunity to work again in the public sector.  But... yes .. there is always a but... it just was not for me.  Honestly, I was a bit disappointed that my job skills were not quite up to  par.  In fact, I left the work force in the 80s so my skills were a bit outdated. The Internet was born, cell phones are now a necessity... I mean who uses a pay phone anymore?  Sigh. So I  worked hard and did online training till the wee hours of the morning to educate myself with the latest technology.  But that wasn't enough.  My heart was not into it.  I have good customer service skills and I enjoyed that part of my job but that was not enough.  Each day I found myself in despair wondering if this all that is left for me to do.  I admire the women who work outside the home while raising a family and also those who continue even after the children have grown. For me, I knew I had to be with people.  I had to do something for people and in turn they would be doing something for me.   I felt I still had a purpose.  My resume includes house cleaning, cooking,  chauffeur, team management, artist, singing campfire songs...hey hey ho ho,  teacher and friend.... There's got to be a job out there paying 100K or more for these skills... right?  I mean a mommy is really responsible for tomorrow's leaders, right?  That is worth something?  So with the help and   encouragement of my family I am still able to change career paths .... again.  Staying focus to my true self I then began my next project ... my grandchildren.  I find that the wisdom of a seasoned mom comes back. Truthfully, it's like riding a bike once you learn you never forget.  So I find myself chatting with my little grandsons like you would a friend. We talk about everything and sometimes just nonsense.  Whether they understand me or not I do think they appreciate the time we spend together.  Right now, when they do talk to me most of it is just a toddler's chat so if they think it's important enough to say it then it's important enough for me to listen.  So this week we were talking about children of different color and I was saying to my grandson that I believe that God made us all the same inside first he drew the lines and then added all the beautiful colors he could think of to make us beautiful masterpieces. 

  I do think I am a bit more patient this time around with little ones.  More patience is something I wish I had when raising my own. Jokingly, now my older children say to me..."hey, mom I don't remember you doing that with me." I reply, "I know I am just getting better".  Still I hope they understand that I loved them the best way I knew how and now my love for them is even deeper than ever before. 

So my wish at the end of days will be for God to tell me... "Lita you did good with what I gave you" ... thank you Erma Bombeck ♥


Enjoy the day!

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